Struggle Stinks: A Diabetes Light Guest Post

Editor’s note: In honor of November’s Diabetes Awareness Month, I am delighted to share this touching guest post by Jim Murray, one of the founding members of our Diabetes Light Community on Facebook. If you feel moved by Jim’s writing, please take a moment to leave a comment for him below in the post and/or on Facebook too. It is an honor for Diabetes Light to feature his writing. Jim had this to say about the story he wrote: 

I thought that comparing a bully to battling diabetes would help those not affected by diabetes to somehow relate. It also shows that those of us that fight this disease also still have everyday obstacles to deal with as well.

Struggle Stinks

This here is a rhyme, and at times a bit silly
about a child with diabetes, and a bully named Billy
Billy was big and smelled worse than a skunk
he was mean to everyone, the definition of a punk
He was mean to the girls and worse to the boys
you’d run when you saw him and hide all of your toys
Billy had a special hatred for me
He heard I was different, I had the big “D”
He came up and choked me I fell to my knees
told me he better not catch my diabetes
I said “you can’t catch it” as I gasped for a breath
He snarled “If I do I’ll beat you to death”
for years he abused me never easing a bit
pulling the chair out as I attempted to sit
A day without Billy was certainly rare
Twice I had my head shaved when he put gum in my hair

It was hard enough without Mr. Smelly
like counting my carbs and shots in my belly
The ups and the downs the highs and the lows
the unexplained numbers as my body grows
As I got older I decided to change
I’d workout and run to keep my sugars in range
I learned about foods and their affect on my body
I ran a 5k, and took some karate

Years had passed and my childhood faded
I almost forgot all of the pain he created
At the fair one summer while in line for a ride
I spotted old Billy with a boy by his side
He came over and said “remember me dude?”
I’m sorry I picked on you and acted so rude
He asked who my boy was I said “he’s my son”
He said “this is my boy, he’s also type 1″
We’re having some trouble controlling at night
by the looks of you you’re doing it right
Please tell me the secrets and share some advice
this month alone he’s been in the hospital twice
What is a carb? and how do I do it?
It’s a lot of work and I already blew it
I can’t work his pump, I’m really not sure
I just bought some cinnamon, I heard it’s a cure.

I pulled my sons hand,” MOVE” I mumbled
I bumped into Billy so hard he had stumbled
I walked away angry, bitter and rude
I’m proud of myself for not crushing that dude
The things he had done I’ll never forget
Not in front of the kids though, that I’d regret
I could beat up Billy, and I was beating the D
But if I walk away from that kid I’d be defeating me.

It’s not very often that I lose my cool
my son said, “I recognize that boy from school”
He said that he’s younger, he sees him outside
but there’s this bully that pushes him off of the slide
he always bugs that kid, he’s really relentless
he is so much bigger, that young kid is defenseless
He thought of a nice way to make sure he doesn’t
he lied to the bully, told him that boy is his cousin.
My boy knew that kid was type 1 like me
We headed back in to help out Billy

We hung out that night me, Billy, and boys
played lots of games and won tons of toys
Billy explained why he smelled like a skunk
He had no running water and his dad was a drunk
“But your house was so nice, it was big and red”
He said “my mom was the maid, we lived in the shed”
He told me he’s sorry for all the things that he did
Now I realize how lucky i was when I was a kid

Some important things I learned in this life of mine
Is to work very hard and always be kind
help those you can, forgive those you hate
the more heart you pour in the better your fate.
You’re rewarded for all of the good that you do
In one form or another it comes back to you

Jim Murray has lived with Type 1 diabetes since age 27, it’s been 12 years now. He feels extremely fortunate to be diagnosed so late in life. In his spare time when not working as a Union Mason he enjoys spending time with his Wife, 3 and 7 year old sons, running, connecting with the D.O.C., and continuing training with his diabetic alert dog Sugar. Check out Sugar’s Facebook page here.

Blessings, light and love,

Cynthia

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