If strength can be found in honesty and sharing, here goes…
This is my Dexcom graph for the last 12 hours.
She’s a real beauty, huh? Not exactly the kind of sugars you want to see — especially while attempting to get a good night’s rest!
These sugars came after a 4 mile walk last evening. I sure wasn’t expecting this in return for my efforts! (If you are a female, you might have an idea of why sugars like this could arrive at my doorstep. If you are a male — be grateful you do not have all these hormone fluctuations to deal with in addition to your diabetes!)
Today I will do the best I can. I may try to squeeze in a nap between my scheduled activities. I didn’t push myself this morning to get to a few of the things on my calendar I wanted to attend.
Why am I sharing this with you? Sugars like this could receive some judgment after all.
I am sharing to give you this message.
Never feel alone with your diabetes.
We can all have very bad days sometimes. Diabetes can be very hard (like I have to tell you this) and challenge you to your core.
A thought crossed my mind last night as my Dexcom alarm sounded yet another time waking me from my restful sleep. And as I opened one more fruit strip to treat my crummy feeling low. I thought about how much Grace we are given to deal with this stuff day in and day out. Truly I believe this. Without grace it could/would be all just too much, this diabetes gig. Face it. It can be a lot to handle. Diabetes and everything else.
But somehow we do it. We get by and plug through another day. I’m thankful not every day and night are this bad. At times like this I just try to do the best I can emotionally and physically. Better days are ahead. You’ve got to keep believing that.
Editor’s note (added on 9/10/12): This song has been in my head all evening. The song is called “Grace” and is by a local singer-songwriter named Ellis that tours nationally. I have had the pleasure of seeing her perform live many times – she is a favorite of mine. “Grace” came to my mind as I reflected on this post. Although I did not recall this song and it’s applicability at the time of publishing, I am sharing the lyrics here for you now as they are very beautiful and touching. I tried to find a video of the song for you but had no luck.
lyrics and music © ellis 2004if you were there / you would’ve been proud / i wasn’t letting the same mistakes / get me this time around / i was in between / a rock and a hard place / looking for good advice / i was looking for you, grace / looking for grace / the clouds were there / the rain and the sun / everybody showed up / to this party for one / i wasn’t sure if you made it / through the rocky terrain / there was so much commotion / i couldn’t see everything / i was shouting grace // chorus: i have a heart that’s breaking / just need some space to fall apart / i have been stubborn lately / running from you / grace / but what would you do without me / to save once in a while from disharmony / i am asking for patience / i just need some time / i have got some bad habits / hanging onto my mind / have i fallen from you, grace / maybe we are dancing, cheek to cheek / we could not be any closer / and i still cannot reach grace / i know things aren’t perfect / i push you away / i get so full of myself and angry / i know it is pride / that keeps us apart / i think i am stronger / with this wall ‘round my heart / but i can’t hold this wall up grace // chorus //
Blessings, light and love,
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